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THE SEINFELD CHRONICLES - PILOT (Episode 1): This series features the title character's humorous insights on life and his experiences as a bachelor. Initially, a girl Jerry met on the road wants to stay with him when she comes to New York. George thinks that she is just using Jerry as contingency plan. Hoffman (Kramer??) comes by to borrow a couple of pieces of meat. The girl calls and asks Jerry if she can stay at his apartment for the night, when she arrives she asks to stay for another night. Jerry is disappointed when everything is going his way until he finds out she is engaged. Air Date: 7/5/89 THE STAKEOUT (Episode 2): While attending a birthday party with Elaine, his former girlfriend, Jerry is introduced to Vanessa. Despite his best efforts to obtain her last Name and phone number, Jerry is only able to find out the Name of the law firm where she works. With no other option, Jerry and his friend George wait in the lobby of the law firm, hoping to "casually" run into Vanessa during her lunch break. Air Date: 5/31/90 THE ROBBERY (Episode 3): After his apartment is burglarized, Jerry decides to move. George, a Realtor, takes Jerry to see an apartment, which they both love. Trouble ensues when George decides that he wants the apartment for himself. They try to decide who will get it. Whoever wins Elaine wants their apartment. Meanwhile, Kramer searches for the stolen property. Air Date: 6/7/90 MALE UNBONDING (Episode 4): Jerry is annoyed that he has to spend time with a boyhood friend whom he cannot stand. Jerry's tactful attempts to end the relationship fail miserably. Kramer has an idea for a make-your-own- pizza parlor and is looking for investors. Air Date: 6/14/90 THE STOCK TIP (Episode 5): George persuades a reluctant Jerry to invest on a stock tip. When the stock plummets, Jerry pulls out in order to minimize his losses. George stands by his investment. Meanwhile, Jerry's weekend away with his girlfriend (Vanessa) is ruined by foul weather. Kramer has an idea for a roll-out tie dispenser. Air Date: 6/21/90
THE EX-GIRLFRIEND (Epidode 6): George neurotically
ponders how to break up with his girlfriend, Marlene, and Jerry
offers advice. When Jerry meets Marlene, he finds that he is
attracted to her. Elaine is curious about a relationship that she
has with a guy in her building that has degenerated over the past
two years. Jerry is reluctantly drawn into George's ex-relationship
when he picks up some books left at her apartment. Although he wants
to break it off with her, she has this "psycho-sexual" hold over him
and he becomes worried about what George might think is he lets this
relationship develop. Elaine confronts the guy in her building and
Jerry's relationship maybe in jeopardy when his girlfriend sees his
act. Air Date: 1/23/91 THE PONY REMARK (Episode 7): Jerry's parents come to
town for a 50th anniversary party. Jerry bets Kramer that he won't
complete his plans to renovate his apartment with levels in a month.
Jerry takes Elaine to the dinner and he makes an observation about
children who have ponies, this remark offends the guest of honor.
When she dies soon afterword, Jerry is afraid that his remark
contributed to her death. He wonders if he should go to the funeral
or to his championship softball game. Elaine wonders about the fate
of their apartment when she hears the widower is moving to Arizona.
Air Date: 1/30/91 THE JACKET (Episode 8): Jerry goes shopping with
Elaine and purchases a very expensive suede jacket. Jerry's new
suede jacket makes an impression on everyone except Elaine's father,
an author cut from Hemingway cloth and not suited to pampering
anyone. He wears it out to dinner with Elaine's grumpy novelist
father. The jacket gets ruined during a snowstorm. Air Date:
2/6/91 THE PHONE MESSAGE (Episode 9): George blows an
invitation upstairs with his latest girlfriend and then when he
tries to make restitution he leaves progressively nastier messages
on her answering machine. George leaves a series of angry messages
on his girlfriend's answering machine, which he later regrets.
George and Jerry try to replace the tape before she hears the
messages. They find out that she already heard the tape and thought
it was a joke. Jerry is disturbed that his own girlfriend loves a
television commercial that he despises. Air Date:
2/13/91 THE APARTMENT (Episode 10): When an apartment in
Jerry's building becomes available, he suggests that Elaine rent it.
After much thought, Jerry worries that this arrangement will affect
his dating life and regrets his recommendation. George tests the
"man with a wedding band" theory of meeting women. Air Date: 4/4/91
THE STATUE (Episode 11): Elaine persuades Jerry
to hire a friend's boyfriend to clean his apartment. When Jerry
realizes that a statue once owned by his grandfather is missing, he
suspects the boyfriend. A confrontation could affect Elaine's
working relationship with the housekeeper's girlfriend. Air Date:
4/11/91 THE REVENGE (Episode 12): George quits his job as
a Realtor out of frustration. When his boss fails to rehire him,
George seeks revenge and enlists Elaine to help. Jerry and Kramer
also seek revenge on a Laundromat owner who Jerry believes has
stolen money that was in Jerry's clothes. Air Date:
4/18/91 THE HEART ATTACK (Episode 13): In a typical display of
histrionics, George insists that he is suffering a heart attack. He
rushes to the hospital emergency room where he is diagnosed with a
harmless case of tonsillitis. George becomes even sicker when he
takes Kramer's advice to visit a holistic healer. Air Date: 4/25/91
THE DEAL (Episode 14): George says it can't be
done, but Jerry and Elaine set up rules and resume sexual intimacy
with the understanding that they expect no more from one another as
lovers than they did as "friends". Air Date: 5/2/91 THE BABY SHOWER (Episode 15): Kramer persuades Jerry
to install an illegal cable hookup. The bootleg installers arrive
while Elaine is throwing a baby shower in Jerry's apartment.
Meanwhile, George feels the need to confront the shower honoree, who
once humiliated him on a date. Air Date: 5/16/91 THE CHINESE RESTAURANT (Episode 16): Jerry, George, and
Elaine wait an unbearable amount of time for a table at a Chinese
restaurant. Elaine can barely contain her hunger and George hovers
near the telephone awaiting a call from a girlfriend whose apartment
he left hurriedly at a crucial moment. Air Date: 5/23/91
THE BUSBOY (Episode 17): George accidentally gets
a busboy fired from his job and tries to atone for it. Elaine
invites a boyfriend from Seattle to stay with her for a week and
discovers that a week is much to long to have a houseguest and that
she liked him better before. The busboy's life is saved and made for
the better after his involvement with George, until he meets
Elaine's houseguest. Air Date: 6/26/91 THE NOTE (Episode 18): Jerry's massage therapy
is covered by his insurance company because his dentist (Roy) wrote
a note prescribing the rub downs as a medical necessity. George and
Elaine decide to make similar arrangements, but George is dismayed
when he is assigned a male practitioner. Then, George's paranoia
about men comes into play when he gets a massage from a man and
later says "I think it moved." Kramer thinks he has seen DiMaggio in
Dinky Donuts. The notes may cause Roy to lose his license in an
insurance fraud investigation. Air Date: 9/18/91 THE TRUTH (Episode 19): When the Internal
Revenue Service seeks to audit Jerry, George arranges for his
girlfriend, who once worked for the Internal Revenue Service, to
help Jerry out. George and his girlfriend break up before she
finishes preparing Jerry's papers, leaving Jerry and George to track
her down at a sanitarium. Kramer sees to much of Elaine while dating
her roommate. Air Date: 9/25/91 THE PEN (Episode 20): Jerry and Elaine go to
Florida where Jerry's father is being honored by his condominium
association. When a friend of the family presents Jerry with a
special pen, the gift becomes a source of tension among Jerry, his
parents, and the other residents of the condominium. Elaine
embarrasses herself when she takes muscle relaxants after sleeping
on the Seinfeld's pull-out couch. ...."Stella!". Air Date:
10/2/91 THE DOG (Episode 21): Jerry is cornered into
caring for the dog of a man on a plane when the man is removed from
a plane because of a medical emergency. The dog proves to be an
absolute terror. Jerry watches the dog, leaving George and Elaine
alone together, they find they have little to say to each other
without their conversational third, Jerry. Air Date:
10/9/91 THE LIBRARY (Episode 22): Jerry is informed by the
library that he has an overdue book from 1971. Kramer figures that,
at a rate of five cents a day, the fine now amounts to $50,000. The
library's investigating officer does not like Jerry's attitude.
Jerry looks up an old girlfriend for his defense against the library
cop. George thinks the homeless man he'd seen outside the library is
a former gym high school gym teacher that he got fired. Kramer has
his eye on one of the librarians. Elaine worries about her career
when her boss hates the recommendations she makes. Air Date:
10/16/91 THE PARKING GARAGE (Episode 23): Jerry, Elaine, George,
and Kramer can't remember where they left Kramer's car in the
enormous parking lot of a shopping mall in New Jersey. Jerry and
George are arrested for urinating in public. Air Date: 10/30/91
THE CAFE (Episode 24): From his apartment
window, Jerry spies a little cafe that does not seem to be doing any
business. Jerry feels sorry for the Pakistani owner and offers him
some advice. George concocts a scheme to have Elaine take an IQ test
for him. Kramer tries to keep his mother's ex-boyfriend's jacket,
because he meets many women with it. Air Date:
11/6/91 THE TAPE (Episode 25): Kramer tries to record
signs of growth with his new video camera. George is excited about a
new potential baldness cure that was discovered in China. While
listening to a tape of his previous nights show, Jerry hears the
voice of a mysterious woman who talks dirty into his tape recorder
and everyone becomes excited by the voice. Elaine shines in an
entirely new light for George when he is let in on the her secret,
she's the voice. He is later driven crazy when she plays around with
him while goofing around in front of Kramer's new video camera.
George tries the bald cure. Kramer is in search of the jacket. Air
Date: 11/13/91 THE NOSE JOB (Episode 26): George is having
problems dating a woman because he dislikes her enormous nose. After
they break up, she gets a nose job and the surgically-corrected
Audrey starts dating Kramer. Jerry attempts to overcome his lust for
an actress whose intelligence leaves much to be desired. Air Date:
11/20/91 THE STRANDED (Episode 27): Jerry & Elaine go to
a party with George, while there they send signals to each other to
get out of bad party conversations. Jerry and Elaine are left
without a ride home when George gets lucky at the party. The party's
host, who stayed up with the pair during their wait, shows up at
Jerry's apartment and gets drunk with Kramer. Later George pays the
price for his romance in the workplace (he must quit) George's plan
to get revenge on a drugstore clerk backfires when he is caught
shoplifting. Air Date: 11/27/91 NOTE: This episode was originally
going to be broadcast during the second season on July 17 1991.
Jerry comes on before the broadcast of this episode and explains
that it is from the time before George lost his job and he wanted
to"let you know, that we know, you know." THE ALTERNATE SIDE (Episode 28): George fills in for Sid
and moves parked cars from one side of the street to the other for
residents trying to avoid parking tickets. George learns that the
job is harder than it first appeared. When Elaine's older boyfriend
suffers a stroke, the paramedics have trouble reaching him because
of the confusion created by George's parking mishaps. Kramer gets a
line in a Woody Allen film, but gets fired after one take. Air Date:
12/4/91 THE RED DOT (Episode 29): Jerry is the unwitting
cause of Elaine's boyfriend falling off the wagon. Elaine helps
George get a job at her publishing company. To show his
appreciation, he buys Elaine a sweater that has been marked- down
because of a tiny red spot. When George presents the gift to Elaine,
he hopes she will not notice the defect. Elaine gives it back, then
George gives it to the cleaning woman, to keep her quiet about the
fact they had sex on his desk. George is eventually fired from his
job. Air Date: 12/11/91 THE SUBWAY (Episode 30): Jerry, Elaine, George,
and Kramer each take the subway: Jerry befriends a fat naked man
with whom he spends the day at Coney Island; Elaine gets stuck on a
stalled subway on her way to a lesbian wedding; George meets a
beautiful con artist who takes him to a hotel, chains him to the
bed, and robs him; and Kramer overhears a tip on a sure bet at the
races, wins $18,000, and is chased by a shady figure. Air Date:
1/8/92 THE PEZ DISPENSER (Episode 31): Jerry brings a pez
dispenser to a piano concert at which George's girlfriend, Noel, is
performing. When Jerry puts the toy on Elaine's leg, she bursts out
laughing and leaves the theater. Noel is distraught that someone
disrupted the recital. George decides to break up with her before
she can end the relationship. Air Date: 1/15/92 THE SUICIDE (Episode 32): Martin, Jerry's
neighbor, tries to kill himself when he thinks his girlfriend, Gina,
is coming on to Jerry. While Martin is hospitalized, Gina does make
a pass at Jerry. George is warned by a fortuneteller of impending
doom. Fearing the worst, George gives his ticket to the Cayman
Islands to Kramer. Elaine needs to fast before a x-ray, so she tries
stuffing herself three days before the test. Jerry becomes worried
when Newman (a friend of Martins) sees him with Gina. Elaine starts
hallucinating from hunger. Everything hinges on a Drake's coffee
cake. Air Date: 1/29/92 THE FIX-UP (Episode 33): Elaine and Jerry arrange
a blind date between George and Elaine's friend, Cynthia. Expecting
it to be a complete failure, they agree to tell each other
everything they hear about the date. Tensions rise when they
discover that they are each withholding information from the other.
There also may be a problem with a defective condom "My boys can
swim!". Air Date: 2/5/92 THE BOYFRIEND (one-hour episode) (Episode 34,35): Jerry meets and
becomes friends with Keith Hernandez, but does that mean he must
help Keith move? "No!," says Kramer, who traces his and Newman's
hate for Hernandez back to when they were allegedly spit on by him;
however Jerry supports the "second-spitter theory". Kramer gets
Jerry to accompany him to see a former neighbors new baby.
Meanwhile, George is out of time on his unemployment and he works
harder than ever in his scheme to get a 13 week extension. Air Date:
2/12/92 THE LIMO (Episode 36): George's car breaks down
on his way to the airport to pick up Jerry. George pretends to be a
delayed passenger in order to get a ride in his limousine. While
taking the limo they call Elaine & Kramer to join them for an
event at Madison Square Garden. When they pick up other people,
George and Jerry realize that they are on their way to a Nazi rally
and George is the main speaker. Air Date: 2/26/92 THE GOOD SAMARITAN (Episode 37): Jerry sees a hit-and-run
accident and catches up with the fugitive driver, an attractive
redhead. He is so taken by her beauty that he forgets about the
accident and asks her out on a date. When Jerry discovers that the
woman she hit is a beautiful blonde, he feels torn. He tries to act
as a mediator between the two women with disastrous results. George
has an affair with Elaine's friend. Kramer has violent reactions to
Mary Hart's voice. Air Date: 3/4/92 THE LETTER (Episode 38): Jerry is dating an
artist, who is painting a portrait of Kramer. When she gives Elaine,
George, and Kramer tickets to a Yankee game, Elaine lies to her boss
to avoid going to his son's circumcision. They get ejected from the
seats in the owner's box because Elaine refuses to take off her
Orioles cap. A photograph of the incident appears in the paper, and
Elaine is afraid that her boss will see it. Jerry finds out his new
girlfriend is a plagiarist after he hears the words she wrote in a
letter, on television. Air Date: 3/25/92 THE PARKING SPACE (Episode 39): George has a day-long
argument with Kramer's friend, Mike, over a great parking spot in
front of Jerry's building. Elaine, Jerry, Newman, police, and
passers-by argue over proper parking technique. Jerry is skeptical
of Elaine's explanation of why it is not her fault that his car was
damaged. Kramer tells Jerry about something his friend Mike said
about Jerry being "a phony." Air Date: 4/22/92 THE KEYS Season finale (Episode 40): Jerry takes away his
spare set of keys from Kramer after he abuses his entrance
privileges. This causes a series of key exchanges among Kramer,
Elaine, and George. Realizing that he has broken the "covenant of
the keys" gives Kramer the realization he is now free to come out of
the shadows. Jerry gave his spare keys to Elaine, then when he needs
them, he goes with George(who has her keys) to Elaine's to search
for his spare set. What they find is Elaine's show-biz project.
Kramer takes off for California to follow his acting dream and lands
a job on "Murphy Brown." Air Date: 5/6/92
THE TRIP, I (Episode 41): Jerry is scheduled to
appear on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" and agrees to take George
with him to Los Angeles. They hope to find Kramer, who disappeared
several months ago and was last seen acting in the sitcom "Murphy
Brown". While trying to audition, Kramer must deal with the advances
of an older female landlord and get Hollywood to read his treatment.
Jerry loses some jokes and George tries to get Lupe, the housemaid,
to make his bed just right. George annoys all the stars they
encounter. He and Jerry are unaware that Kramer is in danger because
he has been mistaken for the "Smog Strangler", a serial-killer. Air
Date: 8/12/92 THE TRIP, II (Episode 42): Kramer has been
incarcerated due to a case of mistaken identity, and George and
Jerry bail him out. In the process, they inadvertently allow the
real serial killer to escape from the back of a police car. George
and Jerry try to convince Kramer to return to NewYork. Air Date:
8/19/92 THE PITCH (Episode 43): NBC executives approach
Jerry about creating a television show. George suggests that he and
Jerry develop a show about "nothing." George gets a date with one of
the executives, and, much to his dismay, Kramer vomits on her jacket
after drinking spoiled milk. Kramer trades a radar detector for a
helmet, later Newman gets a ticket. The helmet saves Kramer from an
attack by "Crazy" Joe. While all this is going on Elaine is in
Europe with her shrink. Jerry throws out a watch his parents gave
him, then meets his Uncle Leo. Kramer agrees to be an excuse for
Newman's trial on a speeding ticket. [The Pitch & The Ticket
were originally aired together as a one-hour episode] Air Date:
9/16/92 THE TICKET (Episode 44): Kramer becomes confused
after he is hit on the head by a psychotic writer named Joe Davola.
When he is put on a witness stand as part of Newman's defense
against a speeding ticket, Kramer fades in and out of lucidity,
causing Newman to lose his case. NBC decides to order a pilot script
for Jerry and George's show. George is upset about the amount of
money he will make as a writer. Air Date: 9/16/92 THE WALLET (Episode 45): Jerry's parents come to
New York so that his father can visit a back specialist. At the
doctor's office, Jerry's father realizes that his wallet is gone.
Jerry lies to his parents about a watch that they gave him which he
threw away. The watch turns up on the wrist of Jerry's
garbage-picking Uncle Leo. In an attempt to break up with her
psychiatrist boyfriend, Elaine tells him she is dating Kramer and
then meets "Crazy" Joe. Air Date: 9/23/92 THE WATCH (Episode 46): George goes to the NBC
president's home to get him to try to reinstate NBC's offer. He
lowers his demands until the president finally agrees. Jerry ransoms
his watch from Uncle Leo for a princely sum, but Jerry's father
learns that Jerry lied about the watch. Jerry purchases a
replacement wallet for his father and secretly puts four hundred
dollars in it. When Jerry's father sees the wallet has a Velcro
zipper, he throws it away. Once again, Uncle Leo goes trash diving
and comes up with the wallet and the $400! Air Date: 9/30/92
THE BUBBLE BOY (Episode 47): Jerry is spotted at a
restaurant and asked to visit a boy who lives inside a plastic
bubble. Jerry, Elaine, George, and his girlfriend, Susan, are
supposed to spend the weekend at Susan's father's cabin. Since the
cabin is near the boy's home, Jerry agrees to stop by. Arriving
early, George quarrels with the bubbleboy while playing Trivia
Pursuit, almost killing him. Kramer and Jerry's girlfriend go
swimming near the cabin while they wait for the others. He leaves a
cigar burning that sets the cabin on fire. Air Date:
10/7/92 THE CHEEVER LETTERS (Episode 48): Jerry and George begin
to work on the pilot for the series they pitched to NBC. Susan and
George must tell her father that his cabin burned down. The
insurance appraiser finds a box of love letters written to Susan's
father by the author John Cheever. Elaine's secretary, Sandra, quits
her job because she thinks Jerry does not like her. To ease his
guilt, Jerry goes on a date with Sandra. She makes obscene bedroom
comments, but is insulted by his reply. . Kramer goes to the Cuban
Embassy in search of cigars. NOTE: Warren Frost and Grace Zabriskie
both appeared on David Lynch and Mark Frost's series Twin Peaks.
Another Twin Peaks cast member joins Grace and Warren in an
appearance in episode #119. Air Date: 10/28/92 THE OPERA (Episode 49): "Crazy" Joe leaves Jerry
a message saying he will put the "kibosh" on him for failure of a
deal with NBC. Elaine plans to invite Joe to the opera until she
discovers that he is crazy. While they wait for the others, Jerry
and Elaine realize that her Joe is the same lunatic who is after
Jerry. Joe shows up at the opera dressed as the clown from " I
Pagliacci"; and buys a ticket from Kramer and George. He ends up
sitting next to Jerry and Elaine, who make a quick exit Air Date:
11/4/92 THE VIRGIN (Episode 50): Jerry encounters an old
girlfriend and finds out that she is still a virgin. Since there
seems to be some chemistry between them, she asks Elaine for sexual
advice. George concludes that his new writing job will help him pick
up women, but he is upset when he realizes that he cannot cheat on
Susan without losing his job. His problems are over, however, when
she is fired after he kisses her during a meeting. Elaine runs into
a Chinese delivery boy. NOTE: Following the broadcast of this
episode Michael Richards played Kramer on a show called Mad About
You. It starred Paul Reiser & Helen Hunt. In the episode called
The Apartment, Reiser must get rid of his old apartment, which it
seems Kramer has been subletting from him. Air Date:
11/11/92 THE CONTEST (Episode 51): George's mother throws
her back out when she falls down after catching him doing "you
know." When George says he'll never do it again the four friends
place a bet on who can last the longest without "pleasuring"
themselves. The challenge becomes more daunting as each of them is
confronted with tempting situations: Kramer spies on a naked
neighbor; George visits his mother's hospital room often to watch
her pretty roommate get a sponge bath; Jerry's virginal girlfriend
considers sleeping with him; and Elaine stands behind JFK Jr. during
an aerobics class. NOTE: Tom Cherones won the Directors Guild of
America Award for this episode. Air Date: 11/18/92 THE AIRPORT (Episode 52): When their flight home
gets canceled, Jerry & Elaine get on another flight, Elaine gets
cramped into coach and Jerry parties in 1st class with a model.
George and Kramer go between JFK and La Guardia to pick them up.
When they settle on an airport George taunts a criminal who is being
transported by the authorities. Kramer sees a man who owes him $240
from years ago. Air Date: 11/25/92 THE PICK (Episode 53): Elaine agrees to let
Kramer take a photograph of her for her Christmas cards. She is
humiliated when she sends out the cards without realizing that her
nipple is exposed. Kramer feels that Calvin Klein has stolen his
idea for a perfume scent. When he meets with Klein, he is asked to
model an underwear line. Jerry is afraid that his model friend Tia
isn't calling him because she thinks that she caught him picking his
nose. George tries to reunite with Susan, but realizes it's a
mistake, and uses "The Pick". Air Date: 12/16/92 THE MOVIE (Episode 54): Jerry tries to make two
show dates and go to the movie theater to meet everyone. George gets
in the wrong line for tickets. George, Elaine & Kramer decide to
go another theater to see the movie. Kramer waits outside for Jerry
but also wants a hot dog. Jerry misses his first show, then goes to
movie theater to tell everyone he won't make the movie, but no one
is there. Through a comedy of errors, everyone (but Kramer) misses
the movie, they were originally going to see. Air Date:
1/6/93 THE VISA (Episode 55): George meets a Chinese
female lawyer who thinks he is real funny; so he tells Jerry not to
be funny around her, but she becomes attracted to Jerry's
"darkness". An important visa form belonging to Babu Baht, an
immigrant friend, gets mixed in with Jerry's mail causing Babu to be
arrested for not renewing his visa. Jerry tries to get a lawyer to
help Babu, but George's honesty when his relationship is threatened
causes Babu to be deported and Elaine to still be sued by the
delivery boy she hit. Kramer comes back sooner than expected from an
adult baseball camp after accidentally slugging Mickey Mantle. Air
Date: 1/27/93 THE SHOES (Episode 56): Jerry and George are
treading water trying to keep their sinking television idea afloat,
one of their problems is they don't know how to do the Elaine
character. Jerry meets an old girlfriend he never got to kiss, later
Kramer gets the opportunity. The ex-girlfriend talks about Elaine's
shoes, mainly because she wants them. Jerry & George are further
troubled when they meet with the NBC president, who catches them
spying his teenage daughter's cleavage. Elaine rescues them by
showing off her own cleavage to the executive. Air Date: 2/4/93
THE OUTING (Episode 57): When Elaine realizes
that a woman is eavesdropping on her conversation with Jerry and
George, she jokingly asks them about their plans to confess their
homosexuality. The woman is a reporter who writes a story about
Jerry and George's alleged sexual preferences. Things really get out
of hand when the article is picked up by the New York Post. George
tries to use the mis-understanding to break off a relationship, but
his girlfriend does not buy it. Air Date: 2/11/93 THE OLD MAN (Episode 58): Jerry, Elaine, and
George volunteer to visit with elderly people. George causes an
elderly man to suffer depression. Elaine can barely look at her
friend because of the woman's absurdly enlarged goiter. Kramer and
Newman try the business of selling old records to a used record
store. Jerry gets assigned to a cantankerous old man and loses track
of him when they try to take him to the dentist to repair his
dentures, after the man had bitten Kramer's arm. Air Date:
2/18/93 THE IMPLANT (Episode 59): Jerry is dating Sidrah,
whom Elaine believes has breast implants. When Elaine informs Jerry
he decides to break up with her. Elaine accidentally touches
Sidrah's breasts in the sauna and realizes that they are real.
George tries to get closer to his new girlfriend by escorting her to
her aunt's memorial service in Detroit. While there he tries to get
a copy of her death certificate so he can get a 50% discount on the
airfare. Air Date: 2/25/93 THE JUNIOR MINT (Episode 60): Jerry has a date with a
woman whose Name he has forgotten, but it "rhymes with a female body
part." Elaine's ex-boyfriend, an artist, is in the hospital about to
have surgery. While Jerry and Kramer observe the surgery, Kramer
accidentally drops a junior mint into his open body cavity. When the
artist has difficulty recovering, George purchases some of his art,
expecting its value to increase if he dies. Air Date:
3/18/93 THE SMELLY CAR (Episode 61): A valet driving Jerry's
car leaves behind a terrible stench of body odor. The smell lingers
in the car, clinging to everyone riding in it. Jerry is forced to
try to sell the car. Elaine smells so bad that her boyfriend (Nick
Bakay) refuses to see her. George learns that his ex-girlfriend,
Susan, has become a lesbian. Susan's newfound sexual identity is
irresistible to George. Susan's girlfriend is swayed to
heterosexuality by Kramer, though later turned-off by a whiff of a
jacket that Kramer borrowed from Jerry. When the car can't be sold,
Jerry winds up leaving it and the keys out on the street. Air Date:
4/15/93 THE HANDICAP SPOT (Episode 62): Jerry, Elaine, George,
and Kramer stop at a mall on their way to an engagement party to
pick up a gift for "The Drake". Despite everyone's protests, George
parks the car in a spot reserved for disabled drivers after taking
Kramer's advice. When they return, they discover that George's
choice of parking caused a disabled woman to become seriously hurt.
An irate crowd gathers to find out who is responsible for her
accident. While visiting the woman at the hospital, Kramer falls in
love and feels compelled to replace the wheelchair. George becomes
his father's butler after his father gets arrested for parking in
the spot. Air Date: 5/13/93 THE PILOT Season finale (Episode 63,64): Jerry and George are
given permission by the network to begin production on their
television pilot titled Jerry. Jerry gets to portray himself, but
George is unhappy with the actor who plays him. Kramer shows up to
audition for the part of himself but must leave when nature calls.
George accuses the actor portraying Kramer of stealing a box of
raisins. George thinks he has cancer because of a white blemish that
appears under his lip. Elaine objects to the new coffee-shop owner
only hiring buxom waitresses. At the taping of the pilot, Elaine
sneaks in disguised and "Crazy" Joe jumps out of the audience.
Kramer is forced to work on his plumbing by using the "dreaded
apparatus." Everyone from the past season comments on the pilot as
it's broadcast. Russell Dalrimple is lost at sea after taking
Elaine's advice to join Greenpeace. NOTE: Originally broadcast as
part of a 60 min episode. The major characters from the past season
who comment on the pilot were not credited for this episode. Air
Date: 5/20/93
THE MANGO (Episode 65): Elaine admits that she
faked orgasms when she was involved with Jerry, and Jerry begs her
for another opportunity to satisfy her. George is afraid that the
woman he is dating also fakes orgasm. Kramer tries returning a
poor-quality peach to the fruit stand and is banished him from the
store. Air Date: 9/16/93 THE PUFFY SHIRT (Episode 66): When Kramer and his
soft-spoken girlfriend go out to dinner with Elaine and Jerry, Jerry
unwittingly agrees to wear a puffy shirt that she designed on "The
Today Show." The shirt is so ridiculous that Bryant Gumble makes
disparaging comments about it on the air. George is forced to move
in with his parents and gets a job as a hand model and he becomes
obsessed with keeping his hands safe. Air Date:
9/23/93 THE GLASSES (Episode 67): George misplaces his
eyeglasses while at the gym and asks Elaine and Jerry to help him
buy a new pair. The trip to the optometrist becomes a disaster when
Elaine is bitten by a dog that she fears is rabid. George tries to
get a discount by mentioning Kramer's Name, but the optometrist
refuses vehemently. George thinks he sees Jerry's cousin, Jeffrey,
kissing Jerry's girlfriend. It turns out to be a horse. Air Date:
9/30/93 THE SNIFFING ACCOUNTANT (Episode 68): Jerry sees his
accountant at the diner and becomes suspicious of his constant
sniffing so Jerry, Kramer and Newman set out to find out the truth.
George tries to become a ladies undergarment salesman after his
father gets him an interview as a bra salesman. Elaine dumps her
writer boyfriend because his punctuation(exclamation points) is not
lively enough. Air Date: 10/7/93 THE BRIS (Episode 69): Jerry and Elaine are
asked to be the godparents of Myra and Stan's baby. When Elaine
hires an unsteady moil, he accidentally cuts Jerry's hand while
circumcising the child. A man commits suicide by leaping from the
hospital and lands on George's car. George attempts to have the
hospital reimburse him for the damages. Kramer tries to liberate a
man whom he believes had been genetically crossed with a pig in an
evil scientific experiment. Air Date: 10/14/93 THE LIP READER (Episode 70): Jerry is smitten with a
line judge at the U.S. Open, but after he gets her attention, he
finds out she is deaf. Elaine has a problem not communicating with a
limo driver. George wants to use Jerry's girlfriend to read the lips
of his ex-girlfriend to find out what she is saying about him. While
she is reading the lips, Kramer misreads the translation, which gets
George in more trouble. Kramer becomes a ball man at the Open, when
Monica Seles returns to tennis. Air Date: 10/28/93 THE NON-FAT YOGURT (Episode 71): Jerry and Elaine think
the yogurt at Kramer's friend's store is too good to be fat-free, so
they take it to a lab to be analyzed where it is accidentally mixed
in with mayoral challenger Guiliani's blood sample. While at the
yogurt store, Jerry accidentally uses the "F" word which a young boy
(Matthew) overhears and he begins to repeat the vulgarity to his
mother's displeasure. The lab determines that the yogurt is not fat
free and Guiliani uses this information as a campaign issue, winning
the election. Elaine tells her boyfriend, Lloyd, who works for Mayor
Dinkins, of George's idea that all New Yorkers wear a Name tag. This
suggestion causes Lloyd to lose his job. Air Date:
11/4/93 THE BARBER (Episode 72): After getting a bad
haircut from his barber Enzo, Jerry secretly arranges for Enzo's
cousin, Gino, to repair it. Enzo is suspicious that Jerry is having
his hair cut by someone else, so he hires Newman to steal a piece of
Jerry's hair. George is uncertain about whether his job interview
was successful or not,so he decides to go into the office and act
like an employee while the boss is on vacation. Air Date: 11/11/93
THE MASSEUSE (Episode 73): Jerry dates Jodi, a
masseuse, who refuses to give him a massage. His frustration
increases when he discovers that she is massaging Kramer. George
goes on a double date with Jerry and Jodi only to find out that Jodi
cannot stand him. Unable to cope with the idea that someone does not
like him, George is determined to change Jodi's opinion of him.
Elaine dates a man who would be perfect for her if he did not share
a Name with a notorious criminal. Air Date: 11/18/93 THE CIGAR STORE INDIAN (Episode 74): Jerry tries to impress
Elaine and her friend, Winona, with a thoughtful gift: an antique
statue of a cigar store Indian. Winona, who is Native American, is
deeply offended. George gets intimate with a woman on his parents'
bed and accidentally leaves behind a condom wrapper. Elaine takes
one of George's father's TV Guides, reads it on the subway, and then
discards it. An obsessive TV Guide collector tries to return it to
her. Kramer sells his idea for making a coffee table book about
coffee tables to Elaine's company. Air Date: 12/9/93 THE CONVERSION (Episode 75): Jerry is interested in
his neighbor, Tawni, until he finds a fungus medication in her
bathroom. He asks Elaine to ask her current boyfriend whose a
podiatrist. George wants to convert to the Latvian Orthodox religion
to maintain his latest relationship. Kramer unwittingly entrances a
Latvian nun-in- training who wants to leave the church to be with
him. Consequently, he seeks help for the unusual power he has over
women Air Date: 12/16/93 THE STALL (Episode 76): Elaine runs out of
tissue paper in a public restroom and requests some from the woman
in the adjacent stall. When the woman, whom Jerry is dating,
refuses, she and Elaine get into an argument. Elaine's boyfriend,
Tony, is an adventurer, who holds no appeal for her other than his
rugged good looks. When Tony's face is injured in a fall, Elaine has
to decide whether or not she will continue to see him. Kramer
suspects that Jerry's girlfriend is the same woman with whom he has
phone sex. Air Date: 1/6/94 THE DINNER PARTY (Episode 77): The four friends stop on
their way to a dinner party to buy cake and wine. Elaine and Jerry
get into a fight with a couple on line at the bakery, only to learn
that they will be at the same party. George and Kramer run into a
series of difficulties trying to purchase wine, culminating in
George's breaking a shelf of bottles. When they return to their car,
a man who appears to be Saddam Hussein has blocked them in. Air
Date: 2/3/94 THE MARINE BIOLOGIST (Episode 78): Jerry bumps into an old
classmate who asks about George. Sensitive to George's string of bad
luck, Jerry impulsively tells the woman that George is a marine
biologist, and she is impressed. Kramer struggles with his golf
swing and sand. When George and the woman are at the beach on a
date, a marine biologists needed to help rescue a beached whale.
Elaine gets to work with the acclaimed Russian writer, Yuri
Testikov, who throws her electronic organizer out the window,
hitting a passer- by. Air Date: 2/10/94 THE PIE (Episode 79): Jerry can't believe that
his girlfriend won't share a piece of pie with him. There is a
mannequin at a store that looks like Elaine and she wants to know
where it came from. George is interested in a suit that he makes an
enemy over. Kramer has an itch. George's new suit makes a noise. Air
Date: 2/17/94 THE STAND-IN (Episode 80): Kramer talks his
stand-in friend, one of the "little people" into getting lifts, to
keep his job. Jerry visits a sick friend, whose in need of a good
laugh, at the hospital. George and his latest girlfriend have
nothing to say to each other, he wants to break up, but won't when
he finds out she is being to urged to break it off. One of Jerry's
friends "takes it out" while on his first date with Elaine. Jerry's
friend takes a turn for the worse after his first visit, so he tries
again. Air Date: 2/24/94 THE WIFE (Episode 81): A girlfriend(Courtney
Cox) poses as Jerry's wife so she can get a dry cleaning discount.
George uses the shower at the health club as a bathroom and is
afraid of being turned in after being seen. Elaine is getting mixed
signals from a male friend who may be interested. Kramer's getting
ready to impress his girlfriend's parents. Air Date:
3/17/94 THE RAINCOATS (Episode 82,83): Jerry's parents are
staying with him while they wait to take their trip to Paris and
he's just returned from three weeks on the road can't get anytime
alone with his girlfriend. George tries to get out of the big
brother program, just after he gets talked into it. The Seinfeld's
avoid the Costanza's dinner invitation. Elaine's latest
boyfriend(the "close-talker") becomes unusually fixated on Jerry's
parents and shows them New York City. Kramer makes a deal with
Jerry's father to sell belt-less raincoats to a second hand shop and
George sells his father's moth-ridden cabana style clothing, right
before they plan a cruise. Eventually, Jerry and his girlfriend go
to a movie together, "Schindler's List", they don't see it because
they make-out during the movie, but Newman sees it and them. NOTE:
Originally broadcast as a 60 min episode. Air Date:
3/28/94 THE FIRE (Episode 84): Kramer is dating one of
Elaine's co-workers, a woman who drives her crazy. Kramer brings her
to one of Jerry's shows, where she heckles him relentlessly;
unfortunately there is a national magazine critic in the audience.
George panics when there is a fire at his girlfriend's apartment,
during her son's birthday party. Jerry decides to get revenge by
heckling the woman where she works. She runs out of the office onto
the street and loses her pinkie toe. Kramer finds the toe, takes a
bus to the hospital and saves the passengers from a gun man.
Inspired by Kramer's tale, George tries to confront his feelings of
cowardice. Air Date: 5/5/94 THE HAMPTONS (Episode 85): Jerry and the gang go to
the Hamptons for the weekend to see their friend's baby. George gets
upset when he realizes that his date went topless on the beach. In
exchange for Jerry having seen her breasts, George wants to see
Jerry's date naked. Instead, Rachel walks in on George undressing
after a swim, and she witnesses his post-swim "shrinkage". Jerry and
Elaine are shocked to discover how ugly the baby is, and Elaine
becomes especially confused when the handsome Dr. Pfeiffer describes
both her and the baby as "breathtaking." Kramer finds a filled
lobster trap. Air Date: 5/12/94 THE OPPOSITE Season finale (Episode 86): To change his lifelong
bad luck, George determines to do everything the opposite. As a
result, he winds up dating a fabulous woman and secures a job with
the New York Yankees. Elaine's luck takes a turn for the worse as
she gets a promotion, but her Jujy fruit habit causes a chain
reaction leading to the demise of her company. Jerry loses a job
only to line up another one five minutes later. Kramer appears on
"Regis & Kathie Lee" promoting his coffee-table book. Rachel
wants to break up with Jerry and he readily agrees, because his luck
has been "even Steven." Air Date: 5/19/94
THE CHAPERONE (Episode 87): Jerry dates Miss Rhode
Island; Kramer tries to help her in the pageant; but Jerry ends up
killing all her pigeons. Elaine gets new job with Mr Pitt and George
gets the idea of cotton uniforms for the Yankees. Air Date: Sep 22,
94 THE BIG SALAD (Episode 88): Jerry dates Newman's ex.
George buys Elaine a big salad from the coffee shop, when his
girlfriend takes credit for buying it, George lets Elaine know that
it was him that bought that salad. Show ends with Kramer driving
Gendison's white Ford Bronco down the interstate (ala OJ ) . Air
Date: Sep 29, 94 THE PLEDGE DRIVE (Episode 89): Elaine's friend Noreen
dates a high-talker; Jerry volunteers to host a pledge drive for
PBS. Jerry is talked into cashing in birthday checks from is Grandma
and the checks bounce. Air Date: Oct 06, 94 THE CHINESE WOMAN (Episode 90): When George and Ms.
Changs telephone lines get crossed, Jerry makes a date with Ms.
Chang thinking that she is a Chinese women. He later finds out that
she is white. George's parents get a divorce. Noreen dates a
long-talker. Kramer finds out he has a low sperm count. Air Date:
Oct 13, 94 THE COUCH (Episode 91): Jerry gets a new couch,
which Pappi pees on. Elaine refuses to eat at Pappi's due to his
stand on abortion. Elaine dates the guy who delivered Jerry's new
couch but breaks up after finding out his stand on abortion. Air
Date: Oct 27, 94 THE GYMNAST (Episode 92): Kramer invests in
computer generated 3-d art. Elaine must substitute for Mr. Pitt in a
merger deal, regarding "Moland Springs"; a girlfriend's mom sees
George eating out of the trash. Jerry dates a '84 Romanian Olympic
medalist. Kramer passes a kidney stone at the Circus. Mr Pitt ends
up resembling Hitler at the end. Air Date: Nov 03, 94 THE SOUP (Episode 93): Jerry gets free suit,
but then has to take Banion out to dinner; Kramer gets rid of his
refrigreator and only eats fresh food, George asks out the waitress,
who becomes disinterested when he mentions manure. Elaine dates an
Englishman. Air Date: Nov 10, 94 THE MOM & POP STORE (Episode 94): George buys a car who he
thinks is Jon Voight's; Kramer runs into Jon Voight and Voight bites
him. Jerry crashes a party during The Thanksgiving-Day Parade at
which Kramer and George try to match the teeth marks on Kramer's arm
to those on a pencil found in the car. Air Date: Nov 17,
94 THE SECRETARY (Episode 95): George hires a rather
homely secretary; but ends up making out with her. Jerry spots a dry
cleaner wearing his clothes; Kramer sells the clothes off his back
to Banion. Kramer gets Uma Thurman's phone number. Elaine is
convinced the department store has "skinny mirrors". Air Date: Dec
08, 94 THE RACE (Episode 96): Kramer gets job as
Santa; Jerry dates woman named Lois; Jerry must defend his high
school speed legend in a race. Elaine goes out with a "Commie". Air
Date: Dec 15, 94 THE SWITCH (Episode 97): Kramer's first Name is
finally revealed[COSMO]; Jerry tries the roommate switch with
George's help. Elaine lends Mr Pitt's tennis racket to a lady with
whom she has a job interview and tries to sneak into her office to
get it back for Mr Pitt.. Air Date: Jan 05, 95 THE LABEL MAKER (Episode 98): Jerry & Elaine think
that Tim Whattly (the dentist) is a "re-gifter" after Jerry gets the
same label maker that Elaine gave to Tim. George dates woman with
male roommate [menogeatrios]; Jerry gives and tries to get back his
Superbowl tickets. Kramer & Newman play RISK... Air Date: Jan
19, 95 THE SCOFFLAW (Episode 99): Newman has many unpaid
parking tickets; guy(John Lovitz) fakes cancer to get sympathy;
George gets a hairpiece. Air Date: Jan 26, 95 HIGHLIGHTS OF A HUNDRED (Part 1) (Episode 100):
HIGHLIGHTS OF A HUNDRED (Part 2) (Episode 101):
THE BEARD (Episode 102): Elaine tries to convert a gay man after becoming attracted to him; Jerry dates a policewoman and finally admits to watching Melrose Place after taking a lie detector test. George, with his toupee, goes out with a bald woman. Air Date: Feb 09, 95
THE KISS HELLO (Episode 103): Elaine's doctor-friend Wendy has bad hair & they want Kramer to tell her. Jerry vows to stop the "kiss hello" with Wendy. In order to make Jerry's apartment more friendly, Kramer posts everyone's' Name and picture in the apartment lobby. Jerry hates this idea as everyone would kiss him on the cheek as they would say hello Air Date: Feb 16, 95
THE DOORMAN (Episode 104): Jerry agrees to take over the doorman's job at Mr. Pitt's apartment. When the doorman does not come back, Jerry just leaves and a couch is stolen, but he can be tracked because he signed for a package while "on duty". Kramer gets idea for male bra from George's father. Air Date: Feb 23, 95
THE JIMMY (Episode 105): Jimmy refers to himself in the third person, confusing Elaine, causing her to agree to go on a date with him. Kramer is mistakenly assumed to be mentally challenged after he comes back from the dentist under the influence of Novocain, and later is given a swollen lip by Jimmy. Kramer tells Jerry that the Dentist has copies of PENTHOUSE in his waiting room. By the end of the show, both Elaine and George are referring to themselves in the third person. Air Date: Mar 16, 95
THE DOODLE (Episode 106): Jerry has fleas, we find out who "the chunky" is that gave Jerry fleas after Elaine goes into Jerry's fumigated apartment looking for a manuscript. George finds a new girlfriend, he likes her until he finds out that she does not care what he looks like. He later changes his mind when she lets him walk around as "the velvet fog". Kramer loves mackinaw peaches, but looses his taste after getting fumigated. Jerry's parents stay in, and trash a hotel room that Elaine is supposed to be staying in. Air Date: Apr 06, 95
THE FUSILLI JERRY (Episode 107): Kramer makes a "Pasta Jerry" out of FUSILLI pasta. Jerry tells his mechanic about "The Move" and he then uses it on Elaine. George wants a new move after no success with his move. Kramer gets license plates that read ASSMAN. Mr Castanza must go to a proctologist after falling on the "FUSILLI Jerry". Air Date: Apr. 27, 95
THE DIPLOMAT'S CLUB (Episode 108): Elaine wants to quit her job with Mr Pitt. Mr. Pitt puts Elaine in his will & then gets sick (because of wrong advise from Jerry about prescription drugs) & is on the verge of dying. Elaine and Jerry are accused of plotting to kill him. Kramer starts-up his betting habit again at the airport wagering on the arrival/departure times of flights and is bailed out by Newman. Jerry tries to get back in time to go out with a model but he angers the pilot (during his comedy show), gets kicked off the plane, and must drive back to the City making him late. George tries to find a black friend. Air Date: May 4, 95
THE FACE PAINTER (Episode 109): Elaine and Jerry go to a hockey game the rangers and devils with Elaine's boyfriend who is a face painter. Kramer gets into trouble with a monkey. George contemplates telling his girlfriend that he loves her. Air Date: May 11, 95
THE UNDERSTUDY Season Finale (Episode 110): Jerry has trouble deciding when he should comfort his girlfriend who also happens to be Bette Midler's understudy in the musical version of Rochel Rochel. During a softball game George injures Bette Midler at home plate & Jerry & George are accused of taking-out Bette on purpose just to get Jerry's girlfriend a starring role in the musical. Elaine gets a job for a clothing catalog. Kramer nurses Bette back to health. Elaine takes Frank Costanza along with her to the manicurist to translate for her and Frank meets and old girlfriend . She dumps Frank after he "stops short" on her. Air Date: May 18, 95
THE ENGAGEMENT (Episode 111): Jerry and George reevaluate their relationships with women, so they make "a pact" to change their ways, though Jerry doesn't know it. Elaine has a problem sleeping in her new apartment because of a nearby constantly barking dog; Kramer recommends a solution. George gets back with Susan, his former girlfriend from NBC; he asks her to marry him, and after a couple hours of convincing she says yes. Kramer, his solution (Newman) and Elaine commit a dog napping and take the dog far out of the city. Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend again; however, George is now trapped in his relationship with Susan, almost to the point where he is married already. Elaine almost gets a good night of sleep. Air Date: Sept. 21,95
THE POSTPONEMENT (Episode 112): Elaine's dog problem is solved by a neighborly rabbi with a cable show. Kramer's involvement in the dognapping worries him when he finds out about its impact on his permanent record. Overwhelmed with it all, George decides he wants to postpone the engagement. Elaine isn't "concerned" with George's intentions, but is really jealous that he's the first of the group to get engaged. The neighborly rabbi offers advice on her problem, that he later relates to Jerry and anyone else who'll listen. Kramer and Jerry try to see Plan 9 From Outer Space; however, Kramer "tries" to sneak in a gourmet coffee, spills it and his lawyer says he has a case. Air Date: Sep 28, 95
THE MAESTRO (Episode 113): George is feeling the pressures of his relationship with Susan and decides that he needs to help a security guard that works at her uncle's store. Kramer's friend "Maestro", makes a comment about getting a rental property in Tuscany that makes Jerry decide to do some research. Elaine begins dating the "Maestro." Kramer's out of court settlement in his lawsuit against the coffee house, free coffee at any location around the world, gets him "hopped up on the caffeine." Jerry asks Poppy about Tuscany and is referred to Poppy's cousin, who makes him an offer he can't refuse. Air Date: Oct 05, 95
THE WINK (Episode 114): Elaine gets a blind date with the guy from her wake-up service; however, he likes dogs. A bit of grapefruit pulp, from Jerry's healthy breakfast, gets into George's eye and causes problems for him when his winks keep getting misinterpreted. Jerry's healthy diet conflicts with his dating of Elaine's cousin. Kramer promises a sick boy that Yankee Paul O'Neill will hit two home runs for him, so he can get back a birthday card that he sold based on George's wink. Air Date: Oct 12, 95
THE HOT TUB (Episode 115): Jerry tries to help Elaine's runner friend make it to the marathon on time; Kramer gets a hot tub & it ends up blowing the fuses. Without power, Jerry's alarm clock doesn't go off and the runner is practically late for the race. George meets with some "bastards" from TX. Air Date: Oct 19, 95
THE SOUP NAZI (Episode 116): While on their way to the "soup place" Elaine finds an antique cabinet she wants. George makes a mistake while trying to get his soup from the "Soup Nazi." Elaine isn't allowed to move her cabinet into her building, so Kramer offers to watch it for her, out on the street. George and Elaine discuss how annoyed they are by Jerry's sweet talking with his current girlfriend. Elaine makes an ordering error in front of the "Soup Nazi," gets on his bad side and is banned for a year. In broad daylight and in Kramer's presence, two guys come along and take the cabinet. Kramer relates the story of the cabinet to the "Soup Nazi," who says he has a cabinet in the basement that Kramer can have. Jerry's girlfriend makes a faux pas in the "soup place" and Jerry disavows any knowledge of her. George confronts Jerry and reminds him about their pact. George and Susan see Jerry and his girlfriend at the diner and they begin to compete against each other. Susan appreciates that George is showing his feelings in public. Kramer gives Elaine the cabinet and tells her where he got it. Elaine goes to thank the "Soup Nazi" but gets even further on his bad side. Jerry discovers the cabinet contains the "Soup Nazi's" recipes and Elaine takes them for the final confrontation. Air Date: Nov 02, 95
THE SECRET CODE (Episode 117): George tries to keep his ATM code a secret from Susan. Elaine is puzzled by a man she once met at a party and talked to for ten minutes, doesn't remember her, but he does remember other party details. Leapin' Larry, a one-legged man, wants Jerry to do spots for his store, but he is angered when he thinks Jerry is doing an impression of him. Kramer gets an emergency band scanner and decides to help reorganize operations at the NYFD. Elaine doesn't want to go on a date with her boss, the storyteller, so she leaves Jerry and George at the restaurant. Jerry escapes, but George isn't as lucky. He is forced to accompany Peterman to his Momma's house, where he winds up staying all night and tells her his secret code before she dies. That is her last word. George's code is needed in a life or death situation. Air Date: - Nov 09, 95
THE POOL GUY (Episode 118): Elaine has tickets for a historical clothing exhibit and realizes that she has no female friends, Jerry suggests that she ask Susan. Kramer suggests that is the wrong move and that George's worlds will collide. Jerry meets his pool guy outside a movie, then he can't get rid of him. George is worried by Elaine wanting to get to know Susan, then he finds out it was Jerry's idea. Kramer's new phone number is similar to a film information line. He keeps getting wrong numbers, so he begins giving out the information. NOTE: This episode was dedicated as follows: In memory of our friend Rick Bolden. Air Date: Nov 16, 95
THE SPONGE (Episode 119): Jerry finds the number of girl he wants to contact on Kramer's AIDS walk sponsor list. After finding out that her preferred method of birth control is only available in a limited supply, Elaine must decided whether her current boyfriend is worthy. George tells Susan the secret of the size of Jerry's jeans and that leads to a fight about all secrets, he tells her another of Jerry's secrets when they make up. Jerry finds out that George told Susan one of his secrets a now he's "out of the loop." Elaine adjusts her screening process to find worthy candidates. Kramer causes a disturbance at the AIDS walk when he won't "wear the ribbon." Air Date: 12-7-95
THE GUM (Episode 120): Kramer is active in the re-opening of an old movie theater. He also is keeping an eye on a friend, Lloyd, who's recovering from a nervous breakdown. Lloyd has a pack of Chinese gum, that Kramer insists everyone tries. George thinks the cashier short-changed him and meets a former neighbor (who's had a breakdown) and his daughter, Deena. George lets his former neighbor look at his car. Elaine tries to avoid interacting with Lloyd, loses a button from her blouse and reveals herself to Lloyd and Kramer. Because of Elaine's lie, Jerry must wear glasses while around Lloyd. Deena tells George that she thinks he is showing signs of being on the verge of a breakdown. George's car, once owned by "Jon Voight" ( see episode #94 ), catches fire. Elaine shows more to Lloyd. Jerry gets more gum. George keeps trying to convince Deena he's not crazy. NOTE: Writer/executive producer Larry David makes an uncredited cameo as a guy who sells George a pack of gum. Air Date: 12-14-95
THE RYE (Episode 121): Elaine is dating a jazz saxophonist who's sponge-worthy but "he doesn't really like to do everything." Jerry tells one of the members of his band that the saxophonist and Elaine are "hot and heavy." Kramer stocks up on supplies, including 50 cans of "Beef-A-Reeno.". Susan's parents meet and have dinner with the Costanzas for the first time. Both families obsess over a loaf of rye bread that wasn't served with the meal, which Frank takes back home. Elaine's boyfriend writes a song about "their relationship," which later has a big impact on his career. Kramer takes over a friend's horse-drawn carriage for a week and helps George out with his scheme to replace the rye bread. Unfortunately, he feeds the horse a can of "Beef-A-Reeno" right before giving the Ross's their ride. NOTE: As stated in episode #048 Warren Frost and Grace Zabriskie both appeared on David Lynch and Mark Frost's series Twin Peaks. Another Twin Peaks cast member, Frances Bay also appears in this episode. Coincidence? Air Date: 1-4-96
THE CADDY (Episode 122): Kramer befriends a caddie, who helps him to improve his golf game and offer his other advice. George's bosses consider him for a promotion when they think he is so dedicated to his work that he is there in the morning before everyone else and still there after they all leave. They don't know that he's just been leaving his car in the parking lot waiting for his free visit from a locksmith. Taking advantage of the situation, he and Susan go up north to her parent's rebuilt cabin. Elaine meets an old rival who's heir to the O'Henry candy bar fortune and has never worn a bra. She wears the bra as a top and cause Kramer and Jerry to have an accident with George's car. With George's damaged car in the parking lot, the Yankees think he's dead. Steinbrenner breaks the news to the Costanza's. Kramer and Elaine take her rival to court and only Jerry may stand in the way. Air Date: 1-25-96
THE SEVEN (Episode 123): Elaine sees a girl's bike she wants, but she strains her neck trying to getting the bike down from the wall. In pain she promises the bike to whoever fixes her neck. Kramer saves the day and wants the bike. George is angry when Susan's cousin chooses to Name her baby with the Name he planned to give his first offspring. He desperately tries to convince them to use another. Kramer works out an arrangement with Jerry to keep track of what he takes from Jerry's kitchen. Jerry is curious when his girlfriend is always wearing the same dress, every time they go out. Air Date: 2-1-96
THE CADILLAC (one-hour episode) (Episode 124,125): Jerry surprises his parents by buying them a new Cadillac, when his last job really pays well. Kramer who now knows about what Jerry makes says it will change their relationship. It certainly changes his relationship with Elaine; she's interested again. George reconsiders his engagement when one of Elaine's friends tells him that she could have set him up with Oscar winning actress, Marisa Tomei. The cable company wants to see Kramer and he takes the opportunity to get revenge on them. George wants to meet Marisa for a cup of coffee, even when Elaine's friend is in the hospital with a heart condition. Jack Klompus accuses Morty of embezzling funds to pay for his new Cadillac. Kramer continues to play with the cable guy. George's obsession with Marisa makes Susan suspicious. Elaine calls Jerry in Florida and tells him she wants to come and join him. Elaine gets George Marisa's phone number and now he needs her for an alibi (which involves her "boyfriend" Art Vandelay, an importer/ exporter). Morty's ace in the hole, to keep him from impeachment, is the woman Jerry stole the marble rye from, but she doesn't remember him, at least at first. The cable guy zeros in on Kramer, but he gets away. George's meeting with Marisa doesn't go as well as planned and Susan thinks he's having an affair with Elaine. The cable guy concedes defeat. Air Date: 2-8-96
THE SHOWER HEAD (Episode 126): Elaine gets a physical for a pending trip with Peterman to Africa. Her physical test results show positive for opium, so Peterman fires her. Jerry parent's are in seclusion in New York while biding time until they can move back to Florida. George tries to convince his parents to move to Florida. The shower heads in Jerry's building are being replaced with a new low-flow model; Newman finds a source for black market shower heads. The Seinfelds tell the Costanzas that there is no room for them in Florida, that gives Frank all the incentive he needs to move. George is delighted. Elaine finds the cause of her opium addiction(poppy seeds) and finds a donor(Mrs. Seinfeld) for her next physical. Jerry makes a joke on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at the expense of Uncle Leo and he pays the price for making fun of the family. Air Date: 2-15-96
THE DOLL (Episode 127): Susan's old roommate from college, Sally, gives Jerry a package she wants him to be careful with; which he is, but loses his package in the process. Frank tells George he is turning his room into a billiard room. Elaine tells Frank about a man she saw in Tuscany who looks just like him, Frank thinks it may be the cousin who stayed behind. Kramer challenges him to a game where the space is a bit tight. Jerry is enthusiastic about a new toothbrush, which he is convinced Elaine must have. Susan has a doll that looks uncannily like George's mother; she doesn't believe it, but he does and it affects his performance. Jerry is going to be on Charles Grodin's show with one of the Three Tenors, not Pavarotti or Domingo, but "the other guy." Elaine goes with him the studio, to replace an autographed picture of "the other guy," for "the Maestro" that was damaged while they were in Tuscany. "The Maestro" provides a new fashion for Kramer and Frank while playing pool, and his baton is an answer to the space problem in the billiard room. Susan's roommate comes to town. She tries to help Jerry out by bringing him back a better barbecue sauce and bringing a doll to the studio for Jerry, which in her opinion, is much funnier than the one Jerry wanted. Jerry has no material for his appearance. Air Date: Feb 23, 1996
THE FRIARS CLUB (Episode 128): George is happy because he has a three month reprieve. The wedding is delayed until June (just in time for the end of the May sweeps and a cliffhanger!). Meanwhile he is also excited because Jerry is going to go out with Susan's best friend. He envisions their friendship in the future as being "Gatsby"-like. Jerry is trying to get into the Friars Club, but loses a jacket he "borrowed" for dinner there, at a performance of comedic jugglers that was "worked on" by Susan's friend. Kramer tries to duplicate the sleeping patterns of Da Vinci and falls asleep at some inopportune moments; one of which puts him put in the Hudson River. Peterman hires a deaf employee and Elaine suffers the consequences, when she gets loaded with some of his work. Trying to see how deaf he really is, Elaine comes on to him, which Peterman overhears and tries to help out their budding relationship. Air Date: March 7, 96
THE WIGMASTER (Episode 129): Jerry uses Elaine to prove that a sales clerk is wrong about his looking at an expensive jacket. The clerk "hits on" Elaine. George has an unwanted house guest, a wig master for the touring company of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." He also has found a parking lot that charges $75 dollars a month; but George discovers why the lot is so cheap when he finds a used condom in his car and is asking a prostitute for information, just as Susan approaches. George discovers that he may have an out with Susan; she says she must be able to trust him and have no doubts. Kramer decides to put his car in the lot. Kramer borrows a pink Cadillac when he can't get his car out. Jerry is convinced the clerk is working Elaine. Kramer stays at Jerry's apartment. Elaine has a walking stick she lets Kramer have it. Kramer is allowed to borrow the back-up "Electric Color Dreamcoat." Jerry is put out, when both sexes assume he isn't in a relationship with the person he is with (Elaine in one instance, the Wig Master in the other). Kramer finds a fuzzy white hat. With all the parts put together, his new ensemble is a sight to behold, just ask the NYPD after he is caught pulling a prostitute out of his borrowed car. Air Date: April 4, 96
THE CALZONE (Episode 130): George becomes Steinbrenner's pet, when he shares an eggplant calzone with him. Kramer is raving about wearing clothes "straight out of the dryer." Jerry thinks that Elaine's boyfriend is dating her without really ever asking her out. He offers to bring Jerry some Cuban cigars from Canada. Jerry takes advantage of his girlfriend's ability to get anything she wants. Kramer searches for quarters for the dryer; when he can't find anymore, he starts using an oven. George gets into tip trouble with the counter guy at the calzone shop and he works out an arrangement with Newman. That is unless of course it's raining (Newman doesn't deliver mail in the rain); Kramer helps out. Air Date: April 25, 96
THE BOTTLE DEPOSIT (One-hour episode) (Episode 131,132): Jerry takes his car to a mechanic and is stunned when he steals it. Elaine is sent on Peteman's behalf to bid on a set of golf clubs once owned by JFK. The golf clubs were in Jerry's trunk when his car was stolen. Kramer and Newman come up with a scheme to collect used pop bottles & take them to Michigan where they can get twice as much money for returns. On the way, Kramer spots Jerry's car, dumps all the bottles as well as Newman. Newman gets in trouble with an old farmer who warns Newman to keeps his hands off his daughter. Air Date: May 2, 96
THE WAIT OUT (Episode 133): After George makes an off-hand remark to a married couple, Jerry & Elaine wait in anticipation of their separation. Elaine sporting a new hairstyle, starts driving again and almost makes Jerry car sick. Kramer starts wearing jeans again. The jeans are much too tight. Elaine and Jerry make plans to move in on the separated couple, which they do. David returns the off-hand remark to George, in the presence of Susan. She tells George she has to think about some things, he thinks it is his ticket out. Air Date: May 9, 96
THE INVITATIONS (season finale) (Episode 134): As the big day grows nearer, George and Susan order their invitations. Susan lets him choose the cheap ones. George tries to think of a way out. Elaine suggests smoking and Kramer suggests a pre-nuptial agreement. Jerry (thinking of a single future with Kramer) nearly gets hit by a car but is saved by his female equivalent, Jeannie. Jerry's in love with Jeannie. Kramer tries to cash in on a bank's offer of a $100 if one of their teller's doesn't say hello. Is "Hey," hello? George tries the suggestions and strikes out. Susan begins preparing the invitations. Jerry makes a decision. Susan passes out while licking envelopes. Jerry proposes marriage; later he has second thoughts. George finds Susan and the gang meets him over at the hospital, where George gets the news, he's "out". NOTE: The scenes shot with the real George Steinbrenner for this episode, were cut from the final edit. It is reported that these scenes might be included in an episode, next season. Air Date: May 16, 96
THE FOUNDATION (season premiere) (Episode 135): After Susan's death, George is ready to move on, but her parents want to keep her memory alive by setting up a foundation in her memory. Kramer becomes a karate master, where his opponents are equals in his skill level, but much younger. Jerry runs into Dolores ("her name rhymed with a female body part" -see episode #60), she suggests that they get together again. Peterman breaksdown and goes to Burma leaving Elaine in charge. Jerry and Dolores get together; however, when she hears why Jerry's engagement was broken off, she leaves commenting that he still hasn't matured. Elaine sees Kramer's opponents, vents her frustration and takes him down in front of the class. Jerry decides to research breakups and the effect on future relationships. George's widower story scores the highest! Kramer's classmates beat him up after class. The Foundation is taking up all of George's time, and while there he discovers everything he lost when he lost Susan. Air Date: Sept. 19, 96
THE SOUL MATE (Episode 136): George believes The Foundation thinks he might have killed Susan, Jerry suggests using a method that comedian Jerry Lewis once used to find out. Kramer falls for Jerry's girlfriend and asks Newman for advice. Elaine insists that she'd rather not have a baby, and meets a man who shares her ideals. George leaves a tape recorder in his brief case at a board meeting and leaves the room. He returns to find the briefcase damaged and the tape stopped. Newman gets in the middle of Jerry and Kramer's relationship with Pam, and bribes Jerry in hopes to find out more about his obsession: Elaine. Meanwhile, her new boyfriend gets a vasectomy to show her how serious he is about not having children. The guys find out Pam doesn't want children either and they line up for their own vasectomies. George gets to the bottom of what happened to his briefcase. Air Date: Sept. 26, 96
THE BIZARRO JERRY (Episode 137): Kramer uses a bathroom in an office building and is mistaken for an employee so he starts working there. Elaine sets Jerry up with a beautiful friend, but she has "man hands." George uses a picture of her and passes her off a his dead finance Susan; that gets him into the "Forbidden City" where high priced models hang out. Elaine meets Kevin and two of his friends; they are the exact opposite of Jerry, George and Kramer. With Kramer working, George busy in the "Forbidden City" and Elaine hanging out with Kevin, Jerry begins to feel alone. Air Date: Oct. 3, 96
THE LITTLE KICKS (Episode 138): Elaine reluctantly lets George attend a party she is throwing at work. "Sweet fancy Moses" exclaims George when he sees Elaine dancing. Jerry gets 2 tickets to a premiere of a film & Kramer asks him to get an extra ticket for his friend Brody. Elaine wonders why her employees have lost respect for her & thinks it might be due to George's influence, so she makes him "off limits" to Anna. That "bad boy" image makes him all the more desirable. Jerry and Kramer attend the film with Brody, who makes a bootleg tape. Brody gets sick and has Kramer take him home, leaving Jerry to finish making the tape. Brody likes Jerry's camera work and asks him to do more films. Elaine finds out the truth about her dancing after she tapes herself. Elaine apologizes to Anna and George, which suddenly makes him undesirable. After Jerry refuses to tape anymore movies for Brody, George takes on the challenge, but gets arrested. Frank comes to bail him out and Elaine lets him know the truth about his son. Elaine's dance becomes a big hit on the streets of New York. Air Date: Oct. 10, 96
THE PACKAGE (Episode 139): Elaine has a rash and looks for a doctor who will treat her; despite her doctor -- patient relationship reputation. Kramer offers Jerry a method to get a refund on his stereo that is two years out of warranty. George discovers the woman at the photo store is looking at his pictures. Jerry refuses delivery of a package with no return address. George thinks that the photo store clerk has stuck a revealing picture of herself in with his pictures. Kramer convinces George to return the compliment and offers to take the photos. Uncle Leo signs for Jerry's package. Elaine tries to lift her medical records. Jerry lets Uncle Leo open the package and there is the sound of an explosion. Leo's stove has exploded but eventually Jerry gets the package and opens it up. It contains his stereo in pieces. Kramer sent the package to him insured; now all they must do is collect the insurance money from the post office. Elaine poses as Uncle Leo's nurse to try a diagnosis for her condition. When that doesn't work she tries to get Kramer to lift her records. Newman grills Jerry on suspicion of mail fraud. George drops off his film at the photo store and gets a surprising result. Air Date: Oct. 17, 96 |
